I want some muscles.
And retro hair.
My body probably fits into the category often referred to as the noodle – little or no shape. And while I’m not one to complain about weight gain, I do complain about my ability to gain very little muscle. This comes from my ability to do very little work with my muscles. Lazy muscles. Apparently we’ve all got over 600 muscles in our bodies…but whether or not they’re being used efficiently is a whole other story.
Enter the gym. Hell – I work at one. But I’ve been stuck in my cardio-focused ways of working out ever since I laid eyes on the treadmill. Despite my hate of running, I liked the zoning out that went with the pounding of my feet on the treadmill belt. Of course it’s easier to work on the exercises you can do fairly effortlessly, than challenge yourself with slightly harder, new ones…in my case, weights.
Enter my fascination with toned arms. I think I stared way too long at a colleagues sweaty, bulging arms last night after he finished his evening work out, but it’s hard to look away from something you can never imagine yourself having. Yes, thankfully I will never look like the Hulk, but adding some more muscle to my spindly limbs would be rather nice. And not only do I like the look of muscles, but I also like the fact that muscles give you more strength. I wouldn’t mind being able to pound the earth with my rock hard fists.
Something about my workouts had to change. I had to abandon the treadmill. Goodbye for now faithful friend, I’m moving on.
Enter my new fitness programme. Enter lunges and squats. Enter the first push up set of my life. Enter nausea. Enter pain. Toughen up I hear you say. But the agony I experienced bending down to perch on the toilet was enough for me to push aside my new programme for another week.
Enter week 2. Procrastination and fear have held me back from launching another attack on my muscles. The mornings have also just been too cold to get out of bed. But I think this afternoon will be time for the second session.
Scratch that, this afternoon WILL be time for the second session. Hello hulk arms.